Prepaying Can Be Learned
Actually Paying It Forward, I Think. A Matter of Trust, and Actually Courage Too
Not for Dutchies?
Prepaying feels uncomfortable for many people. You know it’s possible, but you’d rather not. Will you actually get what you paid for? Will it be delivered as promised? Won’t there be some fine-print trap around the corner? We Dutch seem to have been raised with a preference for simultaneous exchange1. Seeing is believing. Cash on delivery. A deal is a deal.
That pragmatism protects against naivety. It keeps the world somewhat manageable. But there’s also a shadow side: when that “you first, then me” mentality unconsciously seeps into places where it doesn’t belong. In friendship, in neighborly contact. In care or in compassion.
That’s what this is about—something that has become so commonplace in our time that it often flies under the radar: conditionality. The tendency to give only when we know there’s something in return. We’ve unconsciously taught ourselves that giving carries a risk. That you’ll be taken advantage of (meaning you’re foolis…
