Introduction
I realized that a story I often tell during my classes and trainings had never been written down as an article on RelaxMore.net. Time to set that straight!
In an episode of a TV program called Het uur van de wolf (“The hour of the wolf”), focusing on Russian piano prodigies, an extraordinary moment occurred. It could easily have gone unnoticed, so casually did it happen—yet it expressed the very essence of mindfulness with perfect clarity. It appeared almost in passing, amidst the stories of endless practice sessions, prestigious competitions, and precocious virtuosity, during a conversation with one of those young pianists.
A pearl of wisdom
In that conversation, the interviewer asked the young prodigy if he ever felt nervous before performing. A simple “yes” followed. The next question—“and how do you deal with that?”—was met with a few seconds of silence and a slightly puzzled look into the camera, as if the question itself was odd. The boy’s answer was stunning in its simplicity: “I don’t deal with it. I’m just nervous.”
Let me repeat that for clarity:
“I don’t deal with it. I’m just nervous.”
As I sat glued to my chair, letting the—probably unintended—depth of the answer sink in (yes, there really are ways to leave me speechless …), the interview continued. It moved back to piano playing and to what it is like to be a prodigy, interspersed with shots of tiny fingers flying effortlessly across the keys. Of course, that was the official theme of the program, and the interviewer surely had instructions from a producer. But a golden opportunity was missed: to pause for a moment at this unexpected, magical answer to a seemingly simple question.
Being versus doing
That moment illustrated something most people only begin to grasp after years of meditation, therapy, or personal development: the power of radical acceptance without intervention. The boy had no coping strategies, no breathing techniques, no positive affirmations, no mental tricks. He simply experienced what was there.
In Western society, we are conditioned always to do something with our feelings. We must manage them, control them, regulate them, overcome them, or transform them. We have apps for meditation, courses for stress management, and endless shelves of self-help books promising that we can master our emotions.
The prodigy’s answer cut right through this conditioning. He demonstrated what in Buddhist philosophy is called “non-doing,” or wu wei in Taoism: the art of non-action, flowing with what is, rather than fighting against it.
The neurological reality
Interestingly, recent neurological research suggests that accepting emotions such as fear or nervousness recruits different brain networks than those used in traditional strategies of emotional suppression, and that acceptance can be effective without the negative side effects often associated with suppression.
When we try to avoid or control emotions, this often activates the stress system, which can actually intensify the stress response. That makes sense to me, because avoidance and control are, at their core, fear-based—understandable perhaps, once you know the personal story behind them, but fear-based nonetheless.
The boy’s natural approach—simply being nervous—prevented this escalation. He wasted no mental energy fighting his feelings, energy he could use for his music. But this approach does demand something: a deep trust in the coming and going of emotions, without needing to act upon them.
Lessons for adults
What can we learn from this moment? In our complex adult world, where we are flooded with techniques and methods to manage stress, this child reminds us of a fundamental truth: sometimes the best way to deal with a feeling is not to deal with it at all.
This does not mean we should be passive, nor that all coping strategies are useless. It does mean we should not forget the option of pure acceptance. Sometimes “I’m just nervous” is the most authentic, healthy, and effective response we can give.
It is ironic that we spend so much money on mindfulness apps and courses, while a child summed up the essence in just a few seconds. Perhaps that is the ultimate lesson: true wisdom is not found in complex theories or esoteric practices, but in the simple recognition of what is—without the compulsive need to fix it.
In a world that constantly demands action, achievement, and improvement, “I’m just nervous” becomes a radical act of acceptance. A tiny revolution in four words, spoken by a child who probably had no idea how profound his words really were.
“I don’t deal with it. I’m just nervous.” That is mindfulness. Being instead of doing. Thank you, little Russian boy, for this wise lesson.
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